Best WWE Promos Of All Time - Page 3 of 3

1) The Pipe Bomb

Speaker: CM Punk | Date: June 27, 2011

CM Punk has cut some great promos in his career. None better than the ‘Pipe Bomb’ that he unleashed on the WWE on June 27th, 2011. This a promo that will live in WWE history forever.

“John Cena, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this, because before I leave in three weeks with your WWE Championship, I have a lot of things I wanna get off my chest.
I don’t hate you, John, I don’t even dislike you -I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back – I hate this idea that you’re the best – because you’re not. I’m the best. I’m the best in the world. There’s one thing you’re better at than I am and that’s kissing Vince McMahon’s a*s. You’re as good at kissing Vince’s a*s as Hulk Hogan was. I don’t know if you’re as good as Dwayne though, he’s a pretty good a*s-kisser. Always was and still is. Whoops, I’m breaking the fourth wall.
I am the best wrestler in the world. I’ve been the best ever since day one when I walked into this company and I’ve been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That’s right, I’m a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar and he split, just like I’m splitting, but the biggest difference between me and Brock is that I’m going to leave with the WWE Championship.
I’ve grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon’s imaginary brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that they’re just that, they’re completely imaginary. The only thing that is real is me. And the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I’ve proved to everybody in the world that I am the best on this microphone, in that ring and even on commentary.
Nobody can touch me. And yet, no matter how many times I prove it, I’m not on your lovely little collector cups, I’m not on the cover of the program, I’m barely promoted, I don’t get to be in movies, I’m certainly not on any crappy show on the USA Network, I’m not on the poster of WrestleMania, I’m not on the signature that’s produced at the start of the show. I’m not on Conan O’Brien, I’m not on Jimmy Fallon, but the fact of the matter is I should be. And trust me, this isn’t sour grapes, but the fact that “Dwayne” is in the main event of WrestleMania next year and I’m not, makes me sick!
Oh hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now – you are just as big a part of me leaving as anyone else, because you’re the ones sipping out of those collector cups right now, you’re the ones that buy those programs that my face isn’t on the cover of, and then at five in the morning at the airport, you try to shove it in my face so you can get an autograph and sell it on eBay, because you’re too lazy to get a real job.
I’m leaving with the WWE championship on July 17th and hell, who knows, maybe I’ll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Maybe I’ll go back to Ring of Honor. Hey, Colt Cabana, how you doing? The reason I’m leaving is you people because after I’m gone you’re still going to pour money into this company – I’m just a spoke on the wheel – the wheel’s gonna keep turning. And I understand that.
Vince McMahon’s gonna make money despite himself. He’s a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he’s not a billionaire? It’s because he surrounds himself with glad-handing nonsensical d**che bag yes-men like John Laurinaitis, who’s gonna tell him everything he wants to hear. And I’d like to think that maybe this company will be better after Vince McMahon is dead, but the fact is, it’s gonna get taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family…
Let me tell you a personal story about Vince McMahon…. You see we do this whole bully campaign…………”

You can watch the promo here: